Who Am I?

The Search for Identity

You’re no longer a child, but not quite an adult.  You share Biblical values with friends at church, and other ideals with friends at school. You’re bombarded with personalities, friends, celebrities, and influencers on social media.  And somewhere in the midst of all this confusion is you.  No wonder a sense of identity is so intensely sought after by teens.

Do you relate to this struggle?  Are you trying to figure out who you are and where you fit in this multi-dimensional world?  Let’s untangle some of the confusion together.

We’ll start by looking at some of the places people often look for their identity.

School Performance

I was a nerd.  I don’t know that I’d have used the term back in the day, but I was a straight A student who regularly failed at gym.  My peers knew this about me.  I was not chosen for sports teams, but I was asked for help in science class.  It was who I was.

Students often look to their own strengths and weaknesses in school and sports to define who they are.  We may not have a choice about whether we’re academic or athletic, but it can be something we emphasize and exaggerate to show the world, “This is who I am!”

This can be an issue if you exaggerate failure because you want to embrace what you see as your identity, putting in little effort to pull off the lowest result possible.  This is problematic for obvious reasons, but most of all because it does not bring glory to God.

For those of us who found identity in knowledge, what happens when we face a situation about which we have no knowledge?  What happens to our “identity” when we are no longer the smartest person in the room?  It can be devastating to lose one’s identity just because of a subject change!

Abilities

One of the reasons I looked to my academic ability for identity is because of my lack of athletic ability.  But maybe you are a natural at a particular sport.  Perhaps you’ve put many hours into team practices and individually honing your skill.  When we are naturally good at something, we tend to think of ourselves as that skill.  Similarly, when we’ve put a lot of time and effort into becoming good at something, we want to take that on as our identity.  

Athletics isn’t your thing?  The same can be said about music.  Do you excel at an instrument and define yourself by that skill?  Are you an artist?  Whatever we are good at, we tend to look at those skills and talents as who we are.

But these skills are not forever.  Athletes and dancers are limited in the time they can excel at their craft.  Age changes our physical abilities and a professional athletic career doesn’t often extend beyond one’s 30’s.  Vocals change with age, and so can lung capacity and other aspects of instrument-playing.  An arm or hand injury could rob me of my ability to play the piano or paint in an instant.  Who would I be then?

Family

Sometimes we wear our family as our identity.  In my musical family, I was already known in the church as a musical person.  At school I was “Debbie’s sister” and as such teachers expected academic excellence from me.  That was an identity I didn’t want.  But perhaps yours is something you carry with pride.  Perhaps your family is well-known in the church or your community.  Perhaps there is an ethnic heritage that you’re proud to be a part of.  There’s nothing wrong with pride in your family and heritage, but it is not the full picture of who you are.

Religion

Do you find your identity in how long you’ve been a Christian?  Is it in the ministry you’re involved in?  Are you a choir member, a Sunday School teacher, or an usher?  These are wonderful things to do, but when we take them on as our full identity, we very quickly discover that we are clothed in pride.

But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.  Romans 5:8 (emphasis mine)

God loves you, but not because of your religion or your ministry.  It pleases Him when we’re involved in His work, but that isn’t who you are to Him.

Friend Group

We are drawn to people because of shared interests or because we want to be like them.  Either way, we can easily fall into the trap of finding our identity in the group we belong to.  It could be an academic or interest group.  It could be a group that reaches out to the less fortunate.  It could be a group that causes trouble.  

Whatever group it is, it is made up of humans, and humans are not perfect.  Do you really want your identity to be found in people who change?  You may be known for that group’s good, until enough of the people change and suddenly your identity has changed with it.  Or some may leave and others join your group, changing the dynamics completely.

It’s great to be part of a group and enjoy your shared interests but don’t let that group define who you are. 

Sexuality

This is a big one as youth move into the time when attractions are strong and curiosity is stronger.  In fact, those feelings are so strong that we start to think they encompass the very essence of who we are.  In some groups it’s popular to have an identity that goes against traditional norms.  In other groups that may be unacceptable.  Gay or straight, active or waiting for marriage, these are important aspects of how you live out your faith, but they are not your identity at the deepest level.  (I am not saying all of these  options are morally valid.  I’m simply pointing out that they do not define your identity.)

Where, then, should we look for identity?   If I am not my abilities, my intellect, my family, or my sexuality, who am I?

You are God’s Masterpiece 

There are many places we look for our identity, but as noted above none of them encompass who we are.  None are lasting.  Ministries change.  Talents fade.  Friends change and sometimes leave us.  So where should we look?

 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.  Ephesians 2:10

You are God’s masterpiece.  What a beautiful picture of who you are!  He made you, with all the talents and interests you may look to for your identity.  But those are just part of the painting.  You are more than the sum of those things.  If every talent and skill were taken from you, if all your friends rejected you, even if you feel like you were “painted” wrong, you are God’s masterpiece exactly as He made you.

Of course, because of the fall we are also born with a bent toward sin, some more strongly than others.  These desires are not part of the masterpiece, but rather flaws in the canvas that can only be corrected by allowing the Artist to work on us.  We are a reflection of Him, but at the same time we need to allow Him to perfect that reflection as we follow Him.

But even in our fallen state, every masterpiece contains part of the artist, poured out in the medium of the art.  Personality and soul on canvas or clay, in music or dance, or in athletic style and skill.  God poured Himself into you, making a masterpiece He loves!

So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.  Genesis 1:27

Does it make sense for a work of art to define itself by one of the many colours used in it?  Should a rainbow declare, “I am yellow!” when we know it only contains yellow in addition to other colours?  Should a tree declare, “I am leafy green!” when we know that will change with the seasons?

Nor does it make sense for you, a masterpiece of God, to define yourself by just one of the many facets of who He created you to be.  You are His.  That is who you are.

Next time we’ll discover what that means by looking more closely at who God says we are.

   Heather Penner
   Youth Ministries Director