When Trusting is Scary

When Trusting is Scary

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge him in all your ways and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5,6

“Trust God”.  No doubt those are words you have read or heard many times.  Those are words you’ve tried to apply  and have struggled with.  Those are words that can be incredibly powerful if we can actually do it.

If you’re like me, trusting God when you were single was one thing.  Trusting God when you got married was another.  Trusting your kids with God, well, that’s a whole nother level.  

I want to share with you a little bit about my faith journey that I hope will help you be able to trust God a little more.


In 2005 I started working part-time with CEFOntario to help with ministry promotion.  In the spring of 2006 they asked if I would come on full-time as Youth Director.  

I knew I would love the job, but I had one major concern, it was a support raising position.  I had raised support for short-term mission trips before, but I never raised support as an ongoing salary.

On top of that, I had only been married for a couple years and had a mortgage coming in the fall.

Was taking on the role faith, or foolishness?

I’m sure you’ve had moments like this in your life.  

The decision to “trust God” was easier when I was single because the outcome only affected me.  Now, the outcome would also affect my wife.

I delayed my decision for weeks.  Finally, CEF said to me, “Ivhan, we need a decision soon or we are going to have to go in another direction.”

I remember tossing and turning one night, unable to sleep because of the decision that had to be made.  I laid the only Gideon’s fleece in my life that I’ve ever laid.

“Lord, if you want me to do this I’m asking for $500 in support before the end of the month.”  This was May 27th.

Given that I had only talked to a few people about the idea of working with CEF full-time, I figured I would be looking for a new job in a few days.

When I went in to work the next day the administrator said to me, “Ivhan, support came in for you.”

I thought she was messing around with me.  She knew I’d been asked about the position, but I hadn’t committed to it, nor had I told her what I had prayed the night before.

I replied, “Stop messing with me.”

“I’m serious.” She insisted.

“Show me the receipt and I’ll believe you.”

She showed me the receipt and on it, it said, “Support for Ivhan Rusli, $500”.

A couple weeks later, a man I’d never heard of, from a town I didn’t know existed, sent in a check for $50 to support me with a note that read, “It never ceases to amaze me how God works.”

So began a faith journey of learning to trust God in a way I had never trusted Him before.  

It was not an easy journey.  It was not a journey my wife enjoyed at all (the support raising that is)l.  But we stepped forward in faith and saw God move in our lives in ways we had never imagined.  

Verses like, Proverbs 3:5,6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge him in all your ways and He will direct your paths.”, found new meaning in our lives.

It was scary and exciting all at the same time.  Those spine-tingling testimonies I used to hear  of how God provided was now happening in our lives!

Learning to truly trust God was stretching, but worth it.  


Fast forward a few years and we’ve been married twenty years and have three kids, and we’ve never gone without.  In fact, on a single missionary income, God even made it possible for my wife to be home with all three kids until our youngest started school.  

We didn’t even know if that would be possible after maternity leave was over with our first!

Looking back, I see the building blocks of trusting God begin when we were young.  For my wife, she grew up in a Christian family and saw her parents exercise their faith every day and how God honoured that faith.

For me, growing up in a non-Christian home, and hearing the gospel at sixteen,  just knowing that God had a plan for my salvation was everything to me.

Don’t get me wrong, we still have plenty of fears and doubts, but seeing God’s faithfulness over the years makes it a little easier.

My oldest child is sixteen now.  Last year, he had a guaranteed paid summer job.  This year, he chose to work with CEF as a summer missionary and is trusting God to provide for his financial needs.  

His biggest struggle wasn’t about giving up a paying job, but choosing what ministry he should serve with.  

I’m so thankful that my son trusts God enough to take care of him.

But to be honest, as a parent, it’s hard because we are no longer the ones in control.  For all of our “trusting” in God, as parents, we often trust God as long as we have a say in what happens.  But that’s not really trust is it?

We love our kids and we want the best for them, but when the stakes are high who do we think knows better for our kids?  Us, or God?

I cannot count the number of times young people tell me they can’t go on a mission trip, or serve with CEF because they have to get a job to pay for college or university. 

Too often I’ve heard people say they feel called to ministry but “they’re not allowed” because they have to focus on their career.  

While that’s 100% practical, do we know for certain that is what God wants?  Sometimes, it may be.  But other times, it’s not.  We have to seek God and discern His will on these matters.

When I used to watch the Simpsons, there was an episode where Bart (a mischievous boy) is asked to say grace for Thanksgiving dinner.  His prayer is, “Dear God, thanks for nothing, my parents worked for this food, Amen.”

Is that what our kids will be praying as well, or will they be thanking God for incredible ways He’s been there for them?

It may seem counterintuitive, but we must help our kids find greater value in depending on God, than becoming self-sufficient.  

Our willingness to let our children go into the hands of God will speak to them how much they can trust God.

If we can trust God with our salvation, can’t we trust Him for everything else?

If we could trust God as teenagers can’t our children trust Him too?

It won’t be easy, but there’s no safer place to be than in the hands of God, and for that reason, we have to let our children go wherever God may take them.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge him in all your ways and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5,6

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